Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize