I wish I only lived at night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
