i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
