wakey wakey hands off snakey
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
