Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im part way to drunk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize