my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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