I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
