hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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