If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
