I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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