My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize