Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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