I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
