btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
