I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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