As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
