our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
