woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
