Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
