Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
