so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
