so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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