I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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