the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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