Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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