Plan B is the new Plan A
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
