I puked a lego.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
