So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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