youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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