Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We're too hungover to prance.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
