THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
