Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
A+ Viking dick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
