...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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