no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
