yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
