The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
