smell my finger.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize