i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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