I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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