fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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