come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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