as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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