I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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