I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
