I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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