The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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