Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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