my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
