Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
