my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
