Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize