She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
