Can Purell be used as lube?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
