He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
