so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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