We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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