Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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