Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
