we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
